Sunday Muse: Gypsy Bird

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I crawled out of my cage and stretched until I stood tall.
And it occurred to me that it had no lock.
I was free to roam wherever I want. No longer tethered.
The rain felt colder and wetter, soothing me, watering me like a seed.
I picked up my cage and began to walk.
And it occurred to me that it was not heavy, as I had expected, but as light as the feathers it perhaps once held.
I wandered aimlessly hoping to find a target, a direction that made sense.
I tired.
And it occurred to me that I could find rest inside my cage.
I crawled inside, bending and twisting until I fit.
Perfectly comfortable in its familiarity.
And it occurred to me that perhaps it wasn’t a cage at all.
Or perhaps I had become complacent in it’s capture.

A Mom’s Memoir

I’m stretched out in a steamy hot bath. Well, maybe stretched out is inaccurate. My knees are bent at 90 degree angles and my calfs are criss-crossed because that’s where my tub ends. Sitting in the corner staring at me is a small plastic care bear. It’s wondering who this strange creature is and where the screaming, splashing toddler who dips her in the water went. Forget it bear. You’re not coming in.
I never get baths. This is so relaxing. I’ve been in here a while now. My clean hair is wrapped up in a towel that’s cushioning my head as I lay it against one end of the tub. I contemplate staying here for the rest of the day. Maybe forever. But soon my 3 year old will run in demanding my attention. Rushing me. Better to get out on my own terms.
Oh, but what a treat this was.

 

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30

I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing

Our oldest two will be 23 and 21 this summer. Our 15 year old got her learner’s permit yesterday. We just found out that our 13 year old AND our 12 year old will be getting braces. And today our one (almost 2) year old figured out that she can reach things on the edge of the kitchen counter.

Life is moving quickly in our household. With so many of us, it often does. Sometimes I get so busy that I forget to take a step back and take it all in. They are growing up so fast. With every stage they move into I seem to miss the previous one, when they were just a bit smaller, just a little more dependent on me.

But I’ve learned that looking back is no way to live. Because then I miss the stages they’re in now. And before I know it these stages will be over too. So I choose to live in the moment, enjoying every stage, every step. Because I can’t keep them little. All I can do is be grateful that I get to watch them grow. I get to marvel in the wonder of it and be amazed at what they can do. And let go a little more each time they grow into the next stage life has for them.

And take lots of pictures.

 

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

Happily Ever After

So there’s this guy. I’m madly in love with him. Lucky for me, he happens to be my husband.

We met at a grocery store. We kept running into each other on different aisles and then again in the parking lot. He asked if I lived nearby and I told him no just in case he was a serial killer. But we started talking and he told me about his kids (who lived with him) and before we left I gave him my number.

We’ve had our share of both for better and for worse. We bask in those ‘for better’ moments. And the ‘for worse?’ We learn from them.

We’ve learned to draw close to each other in those moments and work as a team. We’ve learned that we communicate differently and to embrace those differences instead of pushing against them. We’ve learned to pray for each other. We’ve learned that dating each other is still very important.

We’ve learned that we are imperfect human beings and that forgiveness is as important in a marriage as love. And we’ve learned that love is something that you choose, something that you do with purpose, in a hundred little ways every day.

I am madly in love with my husband. And I’m grateful for these lessons we’ve learned that have strengthened us.

 

 

“Where you go, I will go. Where you stay, I will stay.” – Ruth 1:16

Praise Him in the Storm

Last night I struggled with what to blog about this week. You see, this has been a very trying week and I didn’t want to write a negative post.

It has been raining at my house for 500 days. (I may be rounding up.) We have been flooded in our neighborhood twice in the past two months. Two days ago my dad was taken by ambulance to the emergency room for respiratory problems and today will be my fourth trip to the hospital to see him.

So you can see my delima… What positivity do I have to share?

And then I got over myself. I realized that I am missing a great opportunity to match my walk with my talk, to praise Him in these storms, both literal and figurative. To look for the blessings among the thorns.

Throughout all this rain and flooding we have kept electricity, while friends have gone days waiting for theirs to come back on. While our neighborhood flooded, our home stayed dry. And while my dad may be in the hospital, he is going to be okay and is improving a little more every day.

And I can think of one more thing for which to be grateful: this blog. Because it made me ask the question. What positivity do I have to share?

It’s a question we should all ask ourselves when storms arise.

 

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. – Joshua 24:15

Summer Fever

It’s May 27th and the end is near… The end of school, that is.

It seems every year they try to pack as many programs and ceremonies as they can cram into the last two weeks of school. I’ve been to two band concerts, an honor society induction, and an award ceremony in the last ten days.

There are three more days of school on the calendar. I can see the glorious summer sunlight at the end of the tunnel my friends!

I can tell that the kids can too. In fact, I think it’s so brightly distracting that I’m having to remind them to keep up with their homework and studying for finals because school is, in fact, still in session… but only for three more days.
Then we all graduate to lazy mornings and hot pool days.

We can’t wait!

Birthday Bash?

I thought I’d wait until tonight to post so that I could write about my daughter’s birthday party. She’ll be 15 on Tuesday and wanted a pool party. So she invited five of her girlfriends and we decked the house in Hawaiian decor, complete with pineapple fruit bowls and Hawaiian shish kebabs, leis and lantern garland.

Then only two of her friends showed up. And it rained.

Of course, we made the best of the situation and even had some family join us for cake and presents and everything worked out in the end.

But I am That Mom, the one who wants to rush to my children’s rescue when they (or their feelings) get hurt. At 15, there is little that I can do, and often even less that I should do. This is an age of learning how to cope and make the most of hard situations without Mom or Dad making everything better. This stage is as hard on the parents as it is the kids.

Only yesterday Laina was learning to ride a bike and asking me to sing her to sleep. Today she is preparing to get her learner’s permit, awaiting her letterman’s jacket and taking early college classes through her high school. Where did my baby go? And with her, my title of Supermom, able to fix any problem and leap small buildings?

Yellow Brick Road

This past week my house was hit with the stomach flu. Four out of six of us had it. I was one of the lucky ones.

While I wasn’t sick myself, I was busy nursing my husband and three of our children back to health while simultaneously creating a clean zone for my daughter and myself with bleach, rubber gloves, surgical masks, and essential oils. I. Am. Exhausted.

I needed to get out of the house after having been cooped up inside for a week, with the exceptions of the pediatrician’s office and pharmacy. My older children suggested I go to the nail salon, but… Am I the only woman who doesn’t enjoy tiny metal objects being jabbed in my forefingers? Somehow, it just doesn’t relax me.

So here I sit, having been given the night off by my knightly husband, enjoying a frappuccino inside our local Barnes and Nobel where I plan to peruse every aisle inhaling that new-book smell and choosing a story or two to enjoy later in the comfort of my own home. This is a small dose of Heaven for me.

I have no illusions of being able to read these books uninterrupted by children and chores, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Home is a small dose of Heaven for me as well. Because there’s just no place like… well. You know.

Toddler Antics

My youngest, whom we affectionately call Tater Tot, is a year and a half old. She’s sweet and adorable and has definitely entered her “terrible twos.”

Let me stop here to stay that I don’t think “terrible twos” is an appropriately coined term, for two reasons; the first is that no child (or entire year) is terrible. The second is that this phase clearly starts before the age of two.

Tater Tot is really a good hearted playful toddler. She loves other babies, adores our pet chueenie and is truly my little cuddle buddy during her down time. She’s smart and enjoys playing with her picture flashcards and story books.  She’s also curious and adventurous and sometimes that can lead to… well, keys thrown in the diaper pail and lost remotes that never get found and toilet paper everywhere. She loves to test her boundaries and often teaches us about the inadequacy of our baby-proofing attempts.

She likes to keep me on my toes, just in case the older three kids aren’t doing a good enough job. But as a mom, this is what I live for. While the older kids are at school this is what breaks up the mundane diaper changes, highchair messes, and piles of laundry. So I choose to see the positive  (and the humor) in her daily antics. I welcome the challenge.

Introduction

I’m a Christian, a wife, a mom, a real person in need of grace.

I’m happily married to a wonderful husband. Marriage is hard. We’re happily married because we work hard at it and keep God in it.

I have two great step-kids who I love as my own. They are now young adults and living on their own. One of them has given us an adorable new granddaughter.

I also have four beautiful kids still living at home, ranging in age from 1 to 15. I am a stay-at-home mom loving and surviving motherhood by the grace of God.

Since I was 8 years old I knew that I wanted to be a full time mom and part time writer. So here I am living the dream…